Me and my brother are going to the arcade to play some games. I saw his car and ran outside. “Hey dude” he yelled, “Ready to go”, “Yep”. I got in his car. When we got there I saw this game called “ The Tower of Doom” you hit it and see how hard you hit it if you hit it a little soft you get big prizes. I hit it hard it said too hard and I got only two points. my brother said don’t hit it that hard I said I didn’t mean to hit I that hard. Sorry.
dear tanner,
thanks for writing such an amazing story although i really liked it, i have to say that often you didn’t use speech marks and in your story you also occasionally forgot to… tell the reader who was talking! other than that i liked your story and you can read my stories at: https://annalie56mps.edublogs.org/2022/03/18/the-dent/ thankyou from Annalie!
O.k.
Hi Tanner! This is Lucas from Illinois, U.S. I enjoyed reading your piece! One thing I liked about your piece is that the game you and your brother play is creative, I enjoyed how you used dialogue in your piece! The game reminds me of Jenga, but the opposite! I would like this game because of the hitting of the tower. One thing I would recommend for next time is to make a new paragraph for every time a new person talks and try to use different starting words for each sentence.
Happy Writing,
Lucas, Illinois
You fitted the prompt words in to your story very well, Tanner. It was not an easy one. I liked the way you used conversation in your story, between you and your brother. I also like the idea of an arcade game where you have to be gentle rather than use force.